Good-Bye

Saying good-bye is typically something I have never struggled with.

That was until this past weekend. 

On Jan.7th we were given some very devastating news about Tank, he was diagnosed with osteocarcinoma (bone cancer). He was given 3-6 more months with us and we decided to savor every last minute we had with him. During this time we kept him on joint and muscle pain medication to keep him comfortable and we even changed his diet to a dog food with very little carbohydrates because that is what the cancer feeds on.

Many of my weekends and evenings were spent hanging out here at the house with Tank and Diesel instead of going out with friends or dates with my husband. 

Last Sunday night we started noticing that Tank's leg was swelling more and we decided to schedule his appointment with the vet for the end of the week. I was very consumed with some issues at work that I was not able to completely devote all my time to Tank during his last few days with us. However while everyone else was celebrating Valentine's Day on Friday I spent my whole entire day at home with the dogs because not only was it VDay but it was also Tank's birthday! 

Tank came in the room and woke me up bright and early (which is the best way to be woken up, by him!)

I cooked him some eggs for breakfast and gave him his pill in a big piece of chocolate cake.

We spent the morning sleeping on the floor and watching some of the olympics.

Mom and Dad came over with Chipotle for lunch and to hangout with the birthday boy.

Anthony got off work around 7:00 and we made a quick run to the store to get some birthday cookies to celebrate. We didn't have any candles but we sang Happy Birthday anyways.

We then made an attempt at a family selfie

Tank's appointment at the vet was set for 9 a.m. Saturday morning.

 I woke up before 5:30 crying uncontrollably just thinking about what we had to do within a few hours.

We cooked breakfast, cleaned out the trunk of the car and the backseat and spent the rest of our morning telling Tank that we loved him so much and that soon enough he would no longer be in pain. Oh & lots of smooches. Tank was never a kissing type of dog (which was partially a good thing due to his slobbery-ness) but as I was holding him in a big bear hug sobbing he looked up and gave me the biggest kiss right on my nose! I did not want to say good-bye to him but knew he needed to not be in this much pain anymore.

We got to the vet and took him in. He was definitely scared because he didn't know what was going on. I just hugged him to my chest and let him know it was okay. After saying our good-byes the vet came in and gave him his shot. We stayed there holding him during this time and within seconds he slipped peacefully away. It was hard to believe how fast it worked and that he was gone. Anthony and I stood there hugging each other. Tank was buried at my Mom and Dad's right next to Lucy & Tippy (our family dogs we had while I was growing up) since this was where he also grew up and we still associated with as home.

I still cannot believe he is gone and find myself thinking about him so much.

Our house is very quiet. Too quiet. 

We will cherish these memories forever and I cannot wait to meet him again in Heaven.

I cannot begin to thank all of you enough for all of your prayers and thoughts for Tank and our family.

Without them and God's help I am not sure we would have been able to get this point.

 Thank-you all so much!

xoxo